Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
“Daddy said you're a flat-chested old maid who probably sleeps with your legs crossed.” — Patricia Watters Copy Share Image
“It just showed once again that half the world doesn’t know how the other three quarters live” — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
I have a side of me that doesn't care. I really enjoy physical comedy, thinking of an idea and pitching it to… — Isla Fisher Copy Share Image
Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
There's an elusive element to comedy, but nobody gets it for free. That's why comedians seldom criticise each other. — Sean Lock Copy Share Image
“Deep down, Story Easton knew what would happen if she attempted to off herself—she would fail It was a matter of probability.… — Elizabeth Leiknes Copy Share Image
I have been definitely influenced more by Latin American writers than by any other type of writer. They are very close in… — Jessica Hagedorn Copy Share Image
“Churchill drank twice what I did if you could believe the accounts and he had just been awarded the Nobel Prize for… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
“What would people think?' Jesus said that people think all sorts of things. The human mind is like a cloud of gnats.… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it's always "a big breakthrough" or a "radical departure." Why is… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
Ultimately, when I go back to the stage, I want to be able to do everything. I want to be able to… — Eddie Murphy Copy Share Image
“Not my finest hour," he says, shaking his head. "You realize you did it for no reason," I say. I tell him… — Heather Hepler Copy Share Image
“People who begin sentences with "I may be old-fashioned but—" are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong.” — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“Masked by a pair of pink cotton panties, the man looks like some sort of deranged bank robber.” — Dave Lundy Copy Share Image
I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for even having a comedy category. — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
I think that every piece has its challenges. I love going back and forth between one and the other. I'll always pick… — Sigourney Weaver Copy Share Image
“The difference between actually very serious and actually very funny is actually very thin.” — William Powers Copy Share Image
“...Mrs. Mullet, when it came to gossip, was equaled only by the News of the World .” — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
Laughter can relieve tension, soothe the pain of disappointment, and strengthen the spirit for the formidable tasks that always lie ahead. — Dwight D. Eisenhower Copy Share Image
“Mr. Li gives Dale and me free lessons for life. Dale hates it. I enjoy kicking others, but would do better in… — SheilaTurnage Copy Share Image
“Lord love you,” Ms. Eulalie said, “but you tell lies like Ms. Franny sings: hard to listen to and even harder to… — Kristin Walker Copy Share Image
“Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
They say God laughs when you make plans, that's why I make appointments and sometimes reschedule. — Behdad Sami Copy Share Image
I enjoy doing these silly little videos, and a lot of stuff online is stuff I actually created for my live comedy… — Tom Lenk Copy Share Image
“People who discriminate understand that they are a stranger to others.” — Jestoni Revealed Copy Share Image
“As a rule, I believe people shouldn't follow rules; rules should follow people.” — Eric Micha'el Leventhal Copy Share Image
To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
There are two or three ways to combat homophobia - one is through humor. The second is to put a face on… — Leslie Jordan Copy Share Image
“I think it's good to smile at everybody so that everyone knows you love everyone. It's good for human pacifism.” — Aimee Bender Copy Share Image
I was a teacher before comedy, but it was good because no two days were the same, which this job is too. — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
“Who the hell calls at two in the morning?" "Maybe it's Matt Wilde, confessing his love," Lindsay says. "Very funny,” — Lauren Oliver Copy Share Image
“We... Charlotta the Fourth and I... live in defiance of every known law of diet." ~ Miss Lavendar, chap 27” — L.M. Montgomery Copy Share Image
“I felt more solidly composed, now that I was horizontal. I was impossible to knock down.” — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“Humor and paradox are often the only ways to respond to life's sorrow with grace.” — Matthew Fox Copy Share Image
'Mandem On The Wall' is an online comedy series that I produce, write and act in along with three other people. — Percelle Ascott Copy Share Image
