Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“I wondered what he would have thought if he'd known that I'd gleaned most of my information from reading historical romance novels.” — Nicole Luiken Copy Share Image
There's a sense of humor within the Australian culture that prevails when one is in a rather difficult situation. — Guy Pearce Copy Share Image
Not being funny doesn't make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does. — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys,… — LeBron James Copy Share Image
Caregivers need humor not only for the healing aspect but also to lift our spirits and inspire us to keep doing what… — Jim Breuer Copy Share Image
As I see it, there's mainstream comedy - and then there's me, out in the badlands. — Rik Mayall Copy Share Image
“I don’t trust people with empty-stomach breath to tell me what taste is.” — Tracie Egan Copy Share Image
“Excuse me? Tonight you represent every dateless woman in this city, every woman who's about to sit down to a lonely meal… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
“What's all the row over at Ben's?" [Mrs. Ide] inquired, placidly, from her comfortable chair. "Rustlers, cattle, foremen, sheriffs, and Heaven only… — Zane Grey Copy Share Image
“Alone-sex didn't count. It's like the difference between thinking to yourself or having a good conversation with someone----the pleasure is in the… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share Image
“I need a drink. Now.” After tossing—fine, throwing—my purse and keys on the couch, I march straight into the kitchen. No more… — Lilly Avalon Copy Share Image
“Well, anyway, we walked around for a while, looking at the animals, and suddenly he asked me to marry him outside the… — P. G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“After Harding's death, the taciturn vice president, Calvin Coolidge, moved into the White House. In contrast to his predecessor's political cronyism and… — James A. Henretta Copy Share Image
If you're a girl who raises her voice a lot, I assume your mom didn't hug you enough when you were a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“His skin is so hard and rough, it’s like shaking a piece of tree bark.” — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
“I was running on a treadmill earlier today and my moobs sagged so low that I tripped.” — M.S. Knight Copy Share Image
I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple!… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“The fact that pigs were abroad in the night seemed to bring home to me the perilous nature of my enterprise.” — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“ Rhett: If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction.” — Rowena Cherry Copy Share Image
It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
“What I know definitively about life at this age … is absolutely nothing.” — James Qualls Copy Share Image
Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Id is fery boedigal!" he said, his blue eyes twinkling. "Cabdain Blood is fond of boedry - you remember de abble-blossoms. So?… — Rafael Sabatini Copy Share Image
“The heaviness of loss in her heart hadn't eased, but there was room there for humour, too.” — Nalo Hopkinson Copy Share Image
Comedy makes you humble. Because there are so many opportunities to miss, and strike out. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“All charming people are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
That's what I love about sketch comedy: a sketch is five minutes, then it goes dark, and there's the potential for something… — Jason Sudeikis Copy Share Image
“Anger is like sex urge, once gratified, the inner voice calls you a stinking fool.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
“ Rhett: Here’s the problem. I am not the sexual equivalent of an espresso machine. ” — Rowena Cherry Copy Share Image
“I often don't know where my Luggage is, that's what being a tourist is all about.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The one and only thing over which you have complete and total control is how you focus your own mind. Luckily, this… — Napoleon Hill Copy Share Image
Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Demons, werewolves, zombies--they're all supposed to be for entertainment purposes only.” — Jen Naumann Copy Share Image
“Let's not have forced gaiety this Christmas, said Nora, like it was a dish. We'll have a tiny bit of it, I… — Miriam Toews Copy Share Image
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us? — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
![“What's all the row over at Ben's?" [Mrs. Ide] inquired, placidly, from her comfortable chair. "Rustlers, cattle, foremen, sheriffs, and Heaven only knows what," replied Hettie, distractedly.” quote by Zane Grey](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/7e2/zane-grey-8315_humor_what-s-all-the-row-over-at-ben-s-mrs-ide_3210808.jpg)
