“It’s a sad state of affairs when I’m the one bringing sanity to the equation” — M.A. George Copy Share Image
“Being holed up in here does wonders for making the brain do what it was made for.” — James Dashner Copy Share Image
He that cometh to seek after knowledge, with a mind to scorn, shall be sure to find matter for his humour, but… — Francis Bacon Copy Share Image
“Don't talk to me like that! I am your mother! Oh, God the Father, I have raised a monster!” — Carlos Malvar Copy Share Image
“If you are fully conscious of your bad decisions, but are still trying to blame your parents, you are an idiot!” — Sara strong Copy Share Image
I've done so many dramas in my life, and people don't even know I came from comedy. — Kim Basinger Copy Share Image
“It’s a funny old world, isn’t it? Just when you think you know someone, just when you think you know yourself…” — Harlem Dae Copy Share Image
“You can make heaven out of hell, or hell out of heaven. The choice is yours.” — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
“SMART My dad gave me one dollar bill 'Cause I'm his smartest son, And I swapped it for two shiny quarters 'Cause… — Shel Silverstein Copy Share Image
I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I do believe if we opened up a comedy theater in a city, that we're going to be able to teach improv… — Matt Besser Copy Share Image
“Thing is, he says, in my line of work, you spend a lot of time sittin. A dress lets the breeze up...cool… — Moira Young Copy Share Image
Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“Lothaire is very much alive.” “You swear?” “Often. Though not as much as foul-mouthed Regin. I try not to in front of… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“The girl slid into the back seat of the town car, tugging at the hem of her dress like she was afraid… — John McNee Copy Share Image
That title, is one of the things I fought for. A lot of people said 'But it's stupid, and it's the title… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Men are linear creatures, led by their lusts. You only have to give them an excuse to act on what they already… — Nancy Gideon Copy Share Image
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
Does anyone else think mirrors look unbelievably handsome or is it just me? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If 'Sajjan Singh Rangroot' showed seriousness through the First World War, 'Carry On Jatta 2' had a great dose of comedy. — Varun Sharma Copy Share Image
“What'd you think would happen when you died? That the prophecy would just be over and we'd all be like, oops, guess… — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
“Good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society.” — William Makepeace Thackeray Copy Share Image
It's like geographical humor. You just don't get it unless you were there. — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't… — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“For your penance, say two Hail Marys, three our Fathers, and," he added, with a chuckle, "say a special prayer for the… — Doris Kearns Goodwin Copy Share Image
“Theodore- Hello, Grandmother. You're looking more beautiful than ever. His grandma- You did have to inherit your looks from someone.” — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
“You're never "keeping it real" with your lack of punctuation and proofreading, you're keeping it unintelligible.” — Austin Kleon Copy Share Image
Because the rhymes I say, sharp as a nail. Witty as can be and not for sale. Always funky fresh, could NEVER… — Run DMC Copy Share Image
“Eh bien! I no see not that that frog has nothing of better than another.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“You didn't weld it shut or anything like that?" "Yes, stupid me, I forgot.” — Alastair Reynolds Copy Share Image
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
But if you don't watch me, I will try and sneak in some humor. I see humor everywhere in life around me. — Marion Ross Copy Share Image
You can't cheat comedy. You know, it either is going to be there on the day you capture or it's not. — Justin Lin Copy Share Image
“He still kept smiling. And his moustache was definitely plotting something.” — Sonya Lano Copy Share Image
“Did you ever do something and right after, you think, “Did that really happen?” Or you can’t even remember what happened? Hmmmmmmmm.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn’t judge others? Master of Stupidity: Don’t! Unless you are paid for it.” — Toba Beta Copy Share Image
Humor is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite. — Christian Morgenstern Copy Share Image
“If somebody doesn't call me a bitch once a day, I figure I'm not doing my job.” — J.D. Robb Copy Share Image
I came from a dysfunctional family - very dysfunctional. And my father used to find great humor in throwing me down the… — Bob Beckel Copy Share Image
