Humor Quotes · Page 295

I don't think I've ever made any conscious decision to be a comic artist, but to me there's something quite anarchic about…

— David Shrigley

“there’s a big empty box filled with packaging peanuts and it’s totally calling my name.”

— H.M. Ward

What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.

— Bob Saget

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.

— Rodney Dangerfield

Thank God for the beautiful day! :) and thank God for making me BEAUTIFUL

— Meow Opre

“Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as 'Call Me God') to KCMG ('Kindly Call Me God') to .. the GCMG…

— Anthony Sampson

At times we were criticized for doing too much slapstick. I don't believe in mild comedy, and neither does Lucy.

— Desi Arnaz

“I was flipping channels, watching this cheerleading program on MTV. They took a field hockey girl and “transformed” her into a cheerleader…

— Jess C Scott

The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon…

— Charles Clayton Morrison

“What is that?" Dad said, looking at the doll. "It’s called the Scream," I said. "I know that, but what us it?”…

— Douglas Rees

Comedy is delivered to people in the same form that music is being delivered: by YouTube. People are sharing music and comedy…

— Tom Green

I grew up with Forrest J. Ackerman's 'Famous Monsters of Filmland' along with a plethora of movie tomes and wanted to write…

— Harry Knowles

Although I love this kind of comedy, sometimes I feel trapped by always having to be the most outrageous guy in the…

— Chris Farley

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why…

— Robin Williams

I think we think that American books are funny or they're serious literature. But humor is subversive. When you add an element…

— Idra Novey

“I don't now how you could not kid about love and still claim to have a sense of humor”

— Richard Russo

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.

— Desi Arnaz

“Have you got something against faith?” “Have you got something against reason?”

— Sam Hunter

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off,…

— Garrison Keillor

I've always been an actor. I've always approached all my comedy as an actor.

— Brett Gelman

For my money, I don't think there's been a better comedy than 'Kung Fu Hustle' in a lot of years. That movie…

— Adam McKay

“For the first time I realized I could be more than a crawling little pile of bones and flesh in a onesie.”

— Sarah Lofgren

I love it if comedy reflects real life because to me it's more reassuring that we'll get through.

— James L. Brooks

“The only people who spoke to her were Jimmy Vaughn, who was sweet when he wasn’t wasted, though he was wasted all…

— Sarra Manning

Humor was not important only for me, humor was important for this nation for centuries, to survive, you know.

— Milos Forman

I have a great sense of humour. I am teasing, taunting and authoritative.

— Suhasini Maniratnam

“I've never been in love, but if a penguin can find a soul mate, I'm sure I can, too.”

— Rebekah Crane

You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face

— Sherry Argov

My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark

— Rodney Dangerfield

Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.

— Robert Orben

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.

— Steve Martin

“Just what the doctor ordered, he says. A bottle of lemonade, a hard-boiled egg, and Thou.”

— Margaret Atwood

Comedy [deals] with a lot of the same areas where our defenses are the strongest - race, religion, politics, sexuality.

— Chris Bliss

“And tell me you didn't take him out in public today with that shirt on." We both look at Gavin's shirt that…

— Tara Sivec

I have a black sense of humor. You try living my life, see what color yours turns.

— Karen Marie Moning

“Illinois preschoolers were temporarily saved from the debilitating effects of cereal and milk.”

— Barack Obama

The difference between a mosquito and a slut, when you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking.

— Amit Verma

“For most people, I edit. Most people are definitely getting along on the Cliffs Notes.”

— Suzanne Finnamore

I have decided to leave my past behind, so if I owe you money, I'm SORRY, but I've moved on.

— Anonymous