Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your… — G. Gordon Liddy Copy Share Image
“Haruna: Rather than Yoh's appearance, I much prefer his character! Yoh: To me those are fatal words...” — Kazune Kawahara Copy Share Image
Drama can feel like therapy whereas comedy feels like there's been a pressure and a weight lifted off of you. — Gabrielle Union Copy Share Image
I do what I want, when I want, wherever I want!…as long as my mom says it's okay. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I prefer the finesse of French humour. English humour is more scathing, more cruel, as illustrated by Monty Python and Little Britain. — Helen Mirren Copy Share Image
Stath Lets Flats' at its heart is a character comedy show about a family-run estate agents, but it's inspired by a real… — Natasia Demetriou Copy Share Image
“My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.'-Jace 'Just break the door down, will… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
In 'Comedy Nights With Kapil,' we had fixed characters and we were under a contract that we could not work for other… — Upasana Singh Copy Share Image
“Nathan nods. "Have a good time. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I hear Andy as I'm walking out the front door.… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
What's interesting about Laurel and Hardy is that in most comedy teams, there's a straight man, and then there's the funny guy.… — Christopher Guest Copy Share Image
“Watching Castro, whose tiny hands looked like marshmallows, hoist the ball from his waist and through the hoop seemed like the human… — Rafe Bartholomew Copy Share Image
You can still have comedy which is sensitive to the topic, where you're laughing at the right part of it, you're not… — Rachel Parris Copy Share Image
Confidence is the only key. I know a lot of people who aren't traditionally 'beautiful' - not symmetrical or perfect-bodied or perfect-skinned.… — Emma Stone Copy Share Image
I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“He looked distraught, though perhaps he always looked like that, given that he didn’t eat enough or sleep enough or witness sunlight… — Molly Collier Copy Share Image
I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“You don’t always have to say what’s on your mind. You can keep it to yourself for the time being. That’s called… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster! — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
“Her red hair seemed to turn into flames of fire, and smoke billowed through each ear.” — Elle Klass Copy Share Image
“You can’t really have patience. You can be patient – if that’s what’s up for you.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
I take my 'Star Wars' quite seriously. There's humor in the movie, but as a fan I just wanted it to feel… — Gareth Edwards Copy Share Image
I think the best comedy enlightens, informs, and changes the way people look at the world. — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
You're so old... there weren't History classes in school, they were called Current Events!! — Glenn Huskey Copy Share Image
“...our witness, one Edward Littleton, was as gay as Elton John's handbag.” — Ann Somerville Copy Share Image
Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“Awesome . . .” Jared spoke up from the other side of the room. “Ember, the Otherworld's wonder mutt.” — Stacey Marie Brown Copy Share Image
“I have never had to be brave. Bravery is for parents and people who get tattoos in another language or dare to… — Scaachi Koul Copy Share Image
“If we accept the unacceptable today, what's the outlook for tomorrow going to be?” — George Booth Copy Share Image
The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“The only way to be completely self-consistent is to be constantly uttering paradoxes.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Seriously. Poor little me can deal with having mated a millionaire.” “Oh, you found someone else? With less money?” — Vivian Arend Copy Share Image
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I think that a big part of comedy is being made fun of, and it is looking silly or looking stupid. — Alison Brie Copy Share Image
I bet MySpace and Google+ are in a bar somewhere, drinking away their sorrows. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a… — Roald Dahl Copy Share Image
“Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year.” — Derek The Ghost Copy Share Image
I cannot recall a more engaging passage in fiction, and I've been trying for almost eighteen seconds. — S. J. Perelman Copy Share Image
