I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer." — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
'Kya Supercool'... is a mad comedy that sees me in a crazy role. I am thrilled with my role and the way… — Neha Sharma Copy Share Image
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Really, more than anything, The 2000 Year Old Man is a huge influence on all of our comedy, but specifically the live… — Nick Kroll Copy Share Image
You can never guess what a kid's going to find funny - besides, you know, an obvious fart joke here and there. — Genndy Tartakovsky Copy Share Image
Laughter puts your brain, your central nervous system and your whole being into a state of free play. — Max Eastman Copy Share Image
“So I'm on my way to work and I stop to watch a pigeon fight a rat in the snow, and some… — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
“There is no problem that can't be solved with the help of a good carrot pie, my friend.” — Anna Horbatenko Copy Share Image
“He thought he saw some horses, too, and a clown, but it was the faces of all those dead raptors that really… — Vernon D. Burns Copy Share Image
“Eisenhower and Patton, old friends and figures crucial to the Allies' upcoming success, conferred over yet another gaffe on Patton's part that… — Jean Edward Smith Copy Share Image
The truth is, I've never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that's a good thing. You know why?… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
“The Blue Fairy Godmother knew something about killing. He gave Lazzaro a careful smile. "There is still time for me to kill… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
You know, Freud accepted his lot very stoically and very well and with a sense of humor. He aged and died gracefully,… — Viggo Mortensen Copy Share Image
The trick. . .is to find the balance between the bright colors of humor and the serious issues of identity, self-loathing, and… — Wendy Wasserstein Copy Share Image
The truth is, I should have never done teaching. I did teaching because I didn't have the bottle to have a go… — Greg Davies Copy Share Image
Kaizad Gustad is quite crazy, and he has weird ideas, and 'Boom' is one such idea. It's a crazy film by a… — Amitabh Bachchan Copy Share Image
Comedy is easy. You have to react to what others are saying and it is all about the timing, the dialogue delivery. — Neha Dhupia Copy Share Image
Love is like sugar...It tastes sweet to begin with, but in the end it still gives you diabetes. — Jared Drake Copy Share Image
“If your IQ was one point lower, you'd be a plant,' was Steve's only comment.” — Robert Ludlum Copy Share Image
I think we're always looking for ways to inject a sense of humor into our music. — Finneas Copy Share Image
“Seven smirked as he walked back over to me. "I gave you catharsis last night. Twice.” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
“Estabilizo meu humor com suco de tangerina, mas nem todos ácidos e açúcares conseguem minimizar a gravidade apocalíptica do desejo.” — Filipe Russo Copy Share Image
My passions are stand-up comedy, hard rock and metal, and baseball and the Mets. — Jim Breuer Copy Share Image
“If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“There was something touching about the fact that Murray was dressed almost totally in corduroy.” — Don DeLillo Copy Share Image
“Seriously? One kiss and we’re having an existential crisis? Angie, breathe. There’s no ring on your finger. Date whoever you want. Chapter… — Irina Semikop Copy Share Image
I'm not really crazy about broad comedy. I like very possible, real situations that you might have found yourself in. — Judge Reinhold Copy Share Image
The saints are never the kind of killjoy spinster aunts who go in for faultfinding and lack all sense of humor. — Hans Urs von Balthasar Copy Share Image
“You can take the barbarian out of the tavern, but he can take the blood out of your body.” — Greg X. Graves Copy Share Image
“Bracy sighed, "So this wasn't the heart...it was the head." "Bracy don't try to be poetic; it doesn't suit you.” — Nicole Sager Copy Share Image
“Don't part from me in any ill humor. I never knew you to be out of patience with me before.” — Kate Chopin Copy Share Image
Optimist: someone who isn't sure whether life is a tragedy or a comedy but is tickled silly just to be in the… — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
“I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.” — Anna Bayes Copy Share Image
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I'm over the hill for come-on lines. On a quiet day, I can hear my liver rotting. For exercise, I fall down.” — James Lee Burke Copy Share Image
“The ironic part about all this was that it wasn't the first time I'd been nearly digested. But that's another story.” — K.A. Applegate Copy Share Image
“A girl can dream can’t she? My new life plan is to stumble into every office of a CEO until I find… — Sophie Monroe Copy Share Image
“Men are funny characters, they must always have something to bemuse them.” — Henrik Ibsen Copy Share Image
Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way. — Michael Buble Copy Share Image
