“I love you more than a hooker loves free VD testing day at the clinic” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I should have sold you to that traveling circus when you were four.” — Tara Sivec Circus Copy Share Image
“Uncle Drew shouts. “You are a disgrace. Your mother should have swallowed.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Jim, would you rather have your porn name be Hugh G. Rection or Mike Unstinks?” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I feel like I’m in The Crying Game right now,” Dad mutters with a sad shake of his head.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Sometimes you have to learn to love the little mo stars for something other than a tax deductions they provide you" ~Claire… — Tara Sivec Education Copy Share Image
“Water? At a wedding? I don’t understand,” he asks in confusion. “Did you invite Jesus? That’s the only way that will be… — Tara Sivec Confusion Copy Share Image
“My father had bought him a shirt that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic, have you… — Tara Sivec Children Copy Share Image
“Uncle Drew is completely inappropriate and one hundred percent of the time, and Aunt Jenny is a few fries short of a… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Will you stop calling it ‘stalking’? That’s such a harsh term. I prefer ‘anonymous following.” — Tara Sivec Stalking Copy Share Image
“I want the thunder and lightning, I want the crash of the storm and I want whatever destruction it will leave behind.” — Tara Sivec Thunder and lightning Copy Share Image
“It's easy to forgive someone for the hurt they've caused you. Forgetting is impossible.” — Tara Sivec Forgetting Copy Share Image
“I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe… — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
“Getting a group of rowdy, blue-collar workers together in one room and putting in a tape that shows a guy in a… — Tara Sivec Anarchy Copy Share Image
“Liz asked me the other day what I thought about twice baked potatoes. How the fuck should I know? Was I supposed… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Really? Because I recall you asking the Elvis impersonator at your Vegas wedding if he could add a line to Jenny’s… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“You don’t have to try and pick up all the pieces at once, sometimes you only need to use a few of… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I should just open the car door and throw her out of the moving vehicle for what she did to me tonight,… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Give me a cat over a kid any day. You can open up a bag of Meow Mix, plop it down on… — Tara Sivec Cats Copy Share Image
“Give me a cat over a kid any day. You can open up a bag of Meow Mix, plop it down on… — Tara Sivec Cats Copy Share Image
“In fact, gone are the days of having sex at all. I have resorted to jerking off alone in the bathroom after… — Tara Sivec Cell phone Copy Share Image
“I've heard some strange noises every once in a while late at night and always wondered if the house is haunted. I… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Wow, she doesn't have any bones. Like, at all. Where the f*ck are her bones? Am I still drunk? Did I sleep… — Tara Sivec Drunk Copy Share Image
“Just giving Jenny a last minute pep talk before the race," Drew informs him. "There's no need for that, Claire is going… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Give me a cat over a kid any day. You can open up a bag of Meow Mix, plop it down… — Tara Sivec Cats Copy Share Image
“Are you really going back there with me?" I ask. "Hell yes I am. Your wish is finally coming true. I will… — Tara Sivec Conversation Copy Share Image
“All the baby books written by women who had the most perfect birth experience in the world said you should talk to… — Tara Sivec Birth Copy Share Image
“And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother. … — Tara Sivec Birth Copy Share Image
