“It's okay, my penis is not offended in the least that it just made you throw up” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Now that I’ve found her again, I have no intention of letting her go.” — Tara Sivec Intention Copy Share Image
“God said "Let there be light" and George morgan flipped the switch.” — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
“No one likes an ugly crier. It's uncomfortable for all parties involved.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Sweet Jesus, she looks like a clown that just woke up after a gang bang.” — Tara Sivec Clown Copy Share Image
“Dude, you've been fingering that box in your pocket all this time? I thought you had crabs or something. I was going… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“She lets out a strangled curse and it takes everything in me not to shout with her as I get my first… — Tara Sivec Curse Copy Share Image
“It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth” — Tara Sivec Girlfriend Copy Share Image
“London Bridge is in Arizona? When the fuck did this happen? Does London know about this? The queen has got to be… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I’d rather be a complete mess with you than spend another day shattered all over the floor alone.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“If that bitch was my mother I would tell her exactly where to go and even buy her a fucking express ticket… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“And tell me you didn't take him out in public today with that shirt on." We both look at Gavin's shirt that… — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
“There has never, nor will there ever be, any other woman in this world more special to me than you.”q” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Mommy and Daddy make a lot of noise when they kiss. Mommy talks to God a lot. I talk to God sometimes… — Tara Sivec Talk To God Copy Share Image
“Ava is like a praying mantis on crack. She will not only chew off his head after she has sex with him,… — Tara Sivec Praying mantis Copy Share Image
“After the epidural was firmly in place, I double checked that we had a waiver on file that states we would own… — Tara Sivec Double check Copy Share Image
“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun… — Tara Sivec Bad boy Copy Share Image
“As I recall, Drew made me take him to see a voodoo priestess he found in the yellow pages that week because… — Tara Sivec Friendship Copy Share Image
“I love both of you exactly the way you are. I love that you have no filter, and I adore that Gavin… — Tara Sivec Love Copy Share Image
“In hind sight, telling him all strangers wanted to eat him wasn’t my finest hour. Having to explain to a bunch of… — Tara Sivec Santa Copy Share Image
“This was never supposed to happen. Sleeping with Tyler was supposed to be a one-time thing – a means of scratching an… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“You can’t use Eve as an excuse. Not this time. She’s not here. It’s just you, me, and a handful of people… — Tara Sivec Bad idea Copy Share Image
“I have a dream. And in this dream I’m under the covers in bed, just a few scant inches away from Carter’s… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Holy shit, did they just kill off that fish’s wife?” I blurted in shock. “Yep,” Gavin replied. “That big, mean fish ated… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I leaned in to give him a hug and he stopped me with his hand to my forehead. "You don't want to… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I changed my mind. Maybe I do want a black hole for a vagina. How bad could it be? I wouldn't need… — Tara Sivec Black hole Copy Share Image
“Because I'm pretty sure we conceived this child the night I ate that pot cookie. I'm eighty-four percent positive our child is… — Tara Sivec Children Copy Share Image
“Wow, she doesn't have any bones. Like, at all. Where the f*ck are her bones? Am I still drunk? Did I sleep… — Tara Sivec Drunk Copy Share Image
