“It's easy fixing other people's problems. It's my own that can suck it.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Then grow a pair and get over it. Jesus mother of f*ck Christ in a piss sh*thole, dick for brains, the answer… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I was trying to figure out a way to tell him his love mayonnaise had mad skills and no one at this… — Tara Sivec Love Copy Share Image
“I'm a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick! Me, me, me, pick me! And who the hell keeps whining and ruining… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina.” — Tara Sivec Vagina Copy Share Image
“Or maybe you know how two-hundred Post-it notes with pictures of penises drawn on them were glued to every inch of my… — Tara Sivec Glued Copy Share Image
“Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Yes, and in just a few minutes, a dIck will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“He's been hung up on a one-night-stand he had five years ago with a girl that smelled like Cocoa Puffs.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It’s totally fine,” I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. “She’s totally housebroken. She’ll go to… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Wow, I'm surprised you remembered. When you left the bar you were crying and singing at the top of your lungs '… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I hope his penis falls off. I hope it rots and falls off inside of Miss Teen USA, therefore causing her perfect,… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It was like the day the stick turned pink, her lady bits put up a giant "Out of Business" sign. Do not… — Tara Sivec Business Copy Share Image
“I should ask her to marry me now. If I do it while she's coming, she probably won't be able to say… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know much, but I did know the rules about… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I suddenly had a vision of my sperm swimming around and talking in Bruce Willis’s voice like in Look Who’s Talking. “Come… — Tara Sivec Dreams Copy Share Image
“I’ve waited long enough. Shelby is the main reason I’m still here, alive and kicking, and it’s time she knows that. It’s… — Tara Sivec Time Copy Share Image
“I love Carter more than I ever thought possible, and he has proven to be the best father a woman could ever… — Tara Sivec Best father Copy Share Image
“I lay there wrapped in Carter’s arms and it was the most comfortable I had ever been. For about five minutes. This… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Oh shit, I wouldn’t use that towel if I were you,” Gavin mumbles. I ignore him scrubbing every inch of my face,… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I was sleeping. What the hell did you wake me up for?” He complains. “You kicked me and made horse noise.” He… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“What are you smiling about? Do you have gas?" Drew joked. "Hey, Mommy, Carter has a HUGE wiener," Gavin said around a… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I can’t leave you alone and I can’t move on because you’re everything to me. You always have been and you always… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Right when my fingers started to slip inside my underwear, I opened my eyes and screamed. "HOLY SHIT!" … — Tara Sivec Creepy Copy Share Image
“Even though I was drunk as a skunk at the time, I still remembered what happened after that. Less than two seconds… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
