“I had been out of the game for too long. I couldn’t even get drunk and flirt anymore. I could however, get… — Tara Sivec Drunk Copy Share Image
“It's going down, and it's going down right the fuck now. I don’t care if there is a room full of witnesses” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me that four-year-olds get woodys? I am not equipped to deal with this shit, Liz.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Another good thing about Legos(LIFE). If it falls apart, it doesn’t mean it’s destroyed. It just means you have to pick up… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It was like the day the stick turned pink, her lady bits put up a giant "Out of Business" sign. Do not… — Tara Sivec Business Copy Share Image
“I hope his penis falls off. I hope it rots and falls off inside of Miss Teen USA, therefore causing her perfect,… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It’s totally fine,” I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. “She’s totally housebroken. She’ll go to… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Wow, I'm surprised you remembered. When you left the bar you were crying and singing at the top of your lungs '… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It wouldn't be weird at all if I just walked up to her and ran my tongue across her shoulder, would it?… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“A few seconds of silence lapse, and I knew Carter was waiting for me to mention the huge "I'm pregnant" elephant in… — Tara Sivec Elephant in the room Copy Share Image
“Dude, he put ass cream on his face. You do know I’m going to have to start calling your son Ass Face… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“He picks up one of the tests and pretends like he's Harry Potter, aiming the test at random objects around the small… — Tara Sivec Magic wand Copy Share Image
“Yeah, you like that? You like it when Big Papa gives you his hot and juicy wiener?” I pant, my hips hammering… — Tara Sivec Dirty talk Copy Share Image
“All my shrinks have told me I need to find a hobby. Something to focus on other than the torture and the… — Tara Sivec Every moment Copy Share Image
“You're probably also wondering how in the hell I can possibly be twenty-five years old when just yesterday I was four. I… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
