“Why the hell is he standing there looking so God damned hot that I want to mount his face.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Life’s too short to do something that doesn’t make you happy, and to spend your time with someone who isn’t your entire… — Tara Sivec Life Copy Share Image
“Yes, and in just a few minutes, a dIck will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“He's been hung up on a one-night-stand he had five years ago with a girl that smelled like Cocoa Puffs.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina.” — Tara Sivec Vagina Copy Share Image
“Or maybe you know how two-hundred Post-it notes with pictures of penises drawn on them were glued to every inch of my… — Tara Sivec Glued Copy Share Image
“Then grow a pair and get over it. Jesus mother of f*ck Christ in a piss sh*thole, dick for brains, the answer… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I turned around to see Jim standing in the aisle with a smirk and a box of tampons in his hand. “Very… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“She moans her approval, so I continue. “Your pussy is so tight, like trying to get a new My Little Pony out… — Tara Sivec Christianity Copy Share Image
“When you were little and you were afraid of the boogey man, getting under the covers meant he couldn't see you or… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I suddenly had a vision of my sperm swimming around and talking in Bruce Willis’s voice like in Look Who’s Talking. “Come… — Tara Sivec Dreams Copy Share Image
“I think maybe I'll hide behind the couch and jump out when he gets here. Put the fear of George into him,"… — Tara Sivec Fear Copy Share Image
“I’ve waited long enough. Shelby is the main reason I’m still here, alive and kicking, and it’s time she knows that. It’s… — Tara Sivec Time Copy Share Image
“I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know much, but I did know the rules about… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I should ask her to marry me now. If I do it while she's coming, she probably won't be able to say… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I love Carter more than I ever thought possible, and he has proven to be the best father a woman could ever… — Tara Sivec Best father Copy Share Image
“I don't wanna be def. Death. Dead. This Burger Twin nappykin just got served as my will, BEOTCH! The fries here suck,… — Tara Sivec Death Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry, but why does Claire know how to take a punch? I'm not sure I like where this is going," Carter… — Tara Sivec Drunk Copy Share Image
“Tyler pulls his shirt down over his head and I pretend like I’m not sad to see his naked abs go. “I… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Wow, Carter. You've got a HUGE wiener." Suddenly, Gavin being in the bathroom with me didn’t seem so bad. If only he… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“And if something doesn’t fit, if one of your pieces just isn’t working, you can put it aside and find another one.… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, I sent a picture of my boobs to Jim," I moaned as a fresh wave of nausea rolled through… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I'm a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick! Me, me, me, pick me! And who the hell keeps whining and ruining… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I was trying to figure out a way to tell him his love mayonnaise had mad skills and no one at this… — Tara Sivec Love Copy Share Image
“You saved me, Shelby,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against hers. “For five years, you saved me, and you didn’t even know… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Yes, the answer is yes! If he keeps talking to me like that he can stick it in my ear.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Open your eyes, Lee. I want you to watch me suck your clit into my mouth and push my tongue inside you,”… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at the… — Tara Sivec Diamonds Copy Share Image
“Granted, she was obviously one window lick away from riding the short bus, but that knowledge did nothing to ease my mind.” — Tara Sivec Psychology Copy Share Image
“I love you more than a hooker loves free VD testing day at the clinic," she told me drunkenly.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Love each other with everything you have. Trust each other with everything inside of you. And never, ever let the other one… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Everything was wrong when you were gone. Nothing made sense without you here. I didn’t know how to be happy without you.… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It's Life. It's the bumps and the bruises, the pain and the fear; it's messy and it's real and it's not some… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Money can't buy happiness but it can buy chocolate, which is kind of the same thing.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“People in your life will let you down sometimes. It’s a fact of life. What matters is how you handle it.” — Tara Sivec Life Copy Share Image
“I had the phone in my hand all set to dial when Drew had finally decided to tell me that he pooped… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“a shirt that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic, have you seen my shotgun?” — Tara Sivec Children Copy Share Image
“I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
