Four Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image “Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.9 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare Four Jokes Laughing Only People Predict Stills Will
I have, like, two and a half years of failed jokes that I know I wouldn't repeat, but I certainly have no comprehension of… — Taran Killam Copy Share Image
Every joke is an experiment. When you sit, alone, and write a script, or just a joke, you really have no idea if it… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
I'm one of those people that laughs at a joke 3 TIMES: >>ONCE when it's told to me >>ONCE when it's explained to me… — Tamika-leeigh Copy Share Image
Sometimes a joke that's not working is just as hilarious as one that does. — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before. — Frank Dane Copy Share Image
Not all times jokes intended to make you laugh. Sometimes they intended to make you think. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The funny jokes are the once that are not funny like this one................... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
As a comedy writer, I'm always praying for the day I can tell a self-aware/break-the-fourth-wall style of joke. — Nicholas Stoller Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
With young kids (I have four including the newborn) times passes weirdly for me. — Paul S. Kemp Copy Share Image
When I was 13, I auditioned for the theater school, and I was there for four years. In the meantime, I did my first… — Ana de Armas Copy Share Image
The only regret I have in my career, is my managers wanted a big payday, and I wanted four or five more fights before… — Gerry Cooney Copy Share Image
And in your new lives you'll have to live entirely for that one sensation-that of imminent truth. And you're going to have to holler… — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
I want to make myself and the crowd happy by way of something different, and that makes things difficult. I'm never playing something that… — Tiesto Copy Share Image
I always loved as a kid reading 'Spider-Man,' and the 'Fantastic Four' would show up... it was all about that larger universe. — Peyton Reed Copy Share Image
While the people retain their virtue and vigilance, no administration, by any extreme of wickedness or folly, can very seriously injure the government in… — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
I remember my friend Johnny von Neumann used to say, 'with four parameters I can fit an elephant and with five I can make… — Enrico Fermi Copy Share Image
The four Cs of making dreams come true: Curiosity, Courage, Consistency, Confidence. — Walt Disney Copy Share Image
If enough money is involved and enough people believe that two plus two equals five the media will report the story with a straight… — Susan Jacoby Copy Share Image
I don't think you should ever say, 'This is the last time'. Music isn't like that. You'll be sitting there not wishing to get… — Roger Daltrey Copy Share Image
I'd love to have three or four kids. But my mom always says: "Speak to me after you have your first". — Ivanka Trump Copy Share Image
