Comedy Quote by Jim Gaffigan “"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody” — Jim Gaffigan ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.9 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare Comedy Funny Up early Waking up early Wanted
“I am glad I was up so late, for that's the reason I was up so early.” — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“One last reason why I get up early is that when I get up, I am literally two to three hours ahead of the… — Prashanth Savanur Copy Share Image
“Maybe other people have torn you down to the point where you wonder why you should get out of bed in the morning.” — John Herrick Copy Share Image
“Today I got up at 6:03 AM. Ugh, too early. I just wanted to sleep in late, and wake up naturally at 6:04 AM.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hated being early. It was like having to wait for the same thing twice.” — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
“Don’t leave this time, okay? I wanna wake up just like this in the morning.” “I’m not going anywhere.” — Jamie McGuire Copy Share Image
“When you dread getting up in the morning to go somewhere, you are going to the wrong place.” — Karen Larson-Reuter Copy Share Image
“No one has anything to get up for. Life's pointless and everyone just gets up anyway. That's how the human race works," she says,… — Cath Crowley Copy Share Image
“I don't know. It's like getting up in the morning. I don't want to get up but I don't want to stay in bed… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
“I was going to kill someone today. I just wasn’t sure who when I woke up this morning. I do love mornings. So full… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday parties. If you complain about how hard it is to get your kid to read, it means you are trying to get your kid to read. If you are complaining about your kid not helping around… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
You can't cheat comedy. You know, it either is going to be there on the day you capture or it's not. — Justin Lin Copy Share Image
I think if I have any kind of unique gift, it's more in the comedy area than it is in the dramatic area. — Susan Sullivan Copy Share Image
I always worked on holidays when I had to wait tables and stuff like that, so I'm used to it, but now I just… — Chris Redd Copy Share Image
There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
