Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.2 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don't like raw tomatoes. And I thought I'd skip the onions so I could make out with the sexiest man alive after lunch… — Olivia Cunning Copy Share Image
What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“When trying to find the words to tell her how much I loved her, I stumbled across the ingredients for grilled cheese sandwiches. That’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She had a smile like tomato sauce on Tuesdays, and she made my penis feel like spaghetti in the strainer. But I wouldn’t restrain… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“At age forty, he had more employee name tags than girlfriends, and he just started liking mushrooms and zucchini. If they’re fried, and covered… — GLEN NESBITT Copy Share Image
“ I'd Better Not-- A man leaned over to a man in a pub And said in a voice ‘I used to be thirty seven but now I’m fifty one’. And that’s how the years go. In handfuls. Like somebody is almost at the end of a bag of crisps And they tip the bag up And it’s as though… — Ian McMillan Copy Share
“By the time we met up again, she'd be able to hand her reaction to me as a tidy package: a single square of… — Curtis Sittenfeld Copy Share Image
“I keep the ketchup in the fridge, though from now on I’m going to keep in the bottle. Less messy, I figure.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“At seventy-one, when I met her, she was small and delicate and dangerous, like a cupcake full of razors.” — Laurie Penny Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
