Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““Eat a donut in the face, not its asshole.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.6 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“That gooey stuff inside a Boston crème donut. That’s what you smell like. Now I’ll get a hard-on every time I eat one.” — Cara McKenna Copy Share Image
“My face doesn’t match my personality. Maybe it would if instead of a mouth I had an asshole in its place. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“don’t chew through anything that doesn’t have food in it, stay off my face, and don’t shit on my gear.” — David Miller Copy Share Image
“donut can give you the kind of hug from inside that celery just can’t muster.” — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“I am such an asshole. And Jesus Christ, I had my head shoved so far up my ass that I was actually beginning to… — Annie Arcane Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
