Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““Chop off my erection. That way you don’t have to go battery-operated penis shopping.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.9 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“I need money. I suppose I could sell my penis for profit. Or better yet, rent it out so it gets returned to me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Please don’t step on my penis. And pick it up off the floor if you see it’s fallen out of my pocket.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You don’t need to windup the wind to keep it going. It’s the same with my erection. All you need is two AA batteries… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I knew guys got erections. I was perfectly prepared to deal with it. When the right guy and the right erection came along.” — Tara Altebrando Copy Share Image
“In the off chance I’ll be turned on, I keep a light switch in my pocket. (Who turned off the light in my pocket?… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For God’s sake, man, cover up your erection. Here, use the back pocket of my jeans.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“-The good guys are coming, boss. What do you want me to do? -Don’t just stand there, you idiot. Ram them with your erection!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A gentleman would have pretended he didn’t see those.” “I think we’ve established that I’m only a gentleman in public – not in the… — Georgia Cates Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
