Quote by Jarod Kintz

“For God’s sake, man, cover up your erection. Here, use the back pocket of my jeans.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A penis has never been something that you pick up and put down and put away idly without consideration.”

— Larry Kramer

“You've been through my stuff. I bent over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate…

— Stephen King

“When men do stupid thing . . . we say they step on dick.”

— G.A. Aiken

“In the off chance I’ll be turned on, I keep a light switch in my pocket. (Who turned off the light in my pocket?…

— Jarod Kintz

“Just do me a solid and keep condoms in your purse. Just in case.” “That doesn’t help me keep my legs closed around the…

— Kristen Proby

“Don’t step on my toes. Especially if I’m walking on my hands.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I feel like grabbing my crotch and checking to see if my balls are still there because I think they may be in her…

— Katja Millay

“Chop off my erection. That way you don’t have to go battery-operated penis shopping.”

— Jarod Kintz

“When the panties drop, dear God, girl, make sure you unhook at least one ankle or when he gets to that epic moment where…

— C.M. Stunich

“I have this thing that keeps me from being interested in prom dresses, it's called a penis.”

— John Green

“You can't just accidentally penis somebody.”

— Christopher Moore