Arrested Quote by George Carlin

A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he…

— Darynda Jones

“Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil…

— Molly Harper

“In 2011, a young man named Timothy Chapek, broke into a home in Portland, Oregon. Timothy quickly got settled in, only to hear someone…

— Jeffrey Fisher

Recently a fan brought handcuffs to a convention that I was at. I didnt really pay attention to what she said, but she actually…

— Kellan Lutz

A man in Michigan stole nearly 250 empty beer cans from a 7-11 store and then told police that his crack cocaine habit drove…

— Seth Meyers

“Waiter, this is not the policeman I ordered. I wanted one with a lot less sauce.”

— Jennifer Echols

“The police, finding a corpse with twenty-eight stab wounds in a bathtub, suspected foul play.”

— Tim Kreider

Basically, the prosecutor who led case against me and that administration were trying to say that an actor can be held responsible for his…

— Harry Reems

What's the damage waiter? Financially or medically?

— Robert D Dangoor

I tried to help a shirtless man who was being arrested in Starbucks. He obviously wasn't right in the head, but the police thought…

— Emma Healey

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!"…

— MaryJanice Davidson

“Rule number one of crime scene work: If it's wet and sticky and it ain't yours, don't touch it. -Terry Cooper, crime scene specialist,…

— Beverly Connor