“One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“Holy hell, Trev! What kind of move was that?” Trevor leaned over her with a big smile on his face. “You really… — Cecilia Aubrey & Chris Almeida Copy Share Image
There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
“Some women walk towards a better future. Others have chauffeurs.” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a… — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you.” — K.M. Parr Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Can you imagine life without the horror genre? There would be no monsters. Only a**holes.” — Michael A. Arnzen Copy Share Image
The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging… — Peter Medawar Copy Share Image
“I'm going to use them to track him down and thwart him." "Thwart?" Sarissa asked. "Thwart." I said. "To prevent someone from… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“Talk about insanity. Being attracted to deVries was like a moth saying, "Hey, let's go check out that awesome bonfire".” — cherise sinclair Copy Share Image
“Today was my forty-fifth birthday. Impending old age and a problem marriage were staring me in the face. Not a good place… — Karen Cantwell Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two… — John Barrymore Copy Share Image
If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs. — Herb Kelleher Copy Share Image
I take full responsability...for what we did. It was the right thing to do. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one?… — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
“The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. — Pierre Trudeau Copy Share Image
