Humorous Quotes by Mae West

Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.

— Mae West

Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present

— Mae West

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made…

— Mae West

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.

— Mae West

No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.

— Mae West

Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

— Mae West

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

— Mae West

Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.

— Mae West

I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily…

— Mae West

I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back…

— Mae West

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid…

— Mae West

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

— Mae West

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.

— Mae West

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.

— Mae West

I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.

— Mae West

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!

— Mae West