Funny Quotes by Mae West

Never ask a man where he has been.

— Mae West

Pour him out of here!

— Mae West

Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.

— Mae West

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

— Mae West

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb.

— Mae West

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

— Mae West

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

— Mae West

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.

— Mae West

I have never loved a man as much as I have loved myself

— Mae West

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

— Mae West

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

— Mae West

Flattery will get you everywhere.

— Mae West

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.

— Mae West

I’ve been things and I've seen places.

— Mae West

It's not what you say, but how you say it!

— Mae West

Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them.

— Mae West

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

— Mae West

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

— Mae West

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid…

— Mae West

I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation but never missed it.

— Mae West

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.

— Mae West

Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!' 'Goodness had nothing to do with it'.

— Mae West