P. G. Wodehouse

If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.

— P. G. Wodehouse

He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make…

— P. G. Wodehouse

I'm all for rational enjoyment, and so forth, but I think a fellow makes himself conspicuous when he throws soft-boiled eggs at…

— P. G. Wodehouse

“the march of civilisation has given the modern girl a vocabulary and an ability to use it which her grandmother never had”

— P. G. Wodehouse

Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.

— P. G. Wodehouse

So always look for the silver lining And try to find the sunny side of life.

— P. G. Wodehouse

Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.

— P. G. Wodehouse

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God…

— P. G. Wodehouse

Golf is the Great Mystery.

— P. G. Wodehouse

Rex Stout's narrative and dialogue could not be improved, and he passes the supreme test of being rereadable. I don't know how…

— P. G. Wodehouse

“He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and forgotten to say 'when'!”

— P. G. Wodehouse

Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.

— P. G. Wodehouse

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life…

— P. G. Wodehouse

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining…

— P. G. Wodehouse

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

— P. G. Wodehouse

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

— P. G. Wodehouse

“Well, anyway, we walked around for a while, looking at the animals, and suddenly he asked me to marry him outside the…

— P. G. Wodehouse

Flowers are happy things.

— P. G. Wodehouse

There was the man who seemed to be attempting to decieve his ball and lull it into a false sense of security…

— P. G. Wodehouse

While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could…

— P. G. Wodehouse

The stationmaster's whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.

— P. G. Wodehouse

In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or…

— P. G. Wodehouse

“All I tried to do was to give the little brute a cheerful expression. But, as it worked out, he looks positively…

— P. G. Wodehouse

Back horses or go down to Throgmorton Street and try to take it away from the Rothschilds, and I will applaud you…

— P. G. Wodehouse

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

— P. G. Wodehouse