Victoria Scott

“As Charlie is leaving the house, she somehow trips on the threshold and nearly face-plants onto the ground. I roll my eyes.…

— Victoria Scott

“In this trunk," she says with a serious face, "is God's gift to women." "Chocolate?" "No." "Midol?" "What? No." "Tampons?" "Stop guessing,"…

— Victoria Scott

“You don’t know who you’re fucking with, princess. Ain’t no one do bad like I do.”

— Victoria Scott

“His pinched expression looks like he just smelled his own asshole.”

— Victoria Scott

“The front door is painted a rich, bright red. The corners of my mouth curl into a smile. Have I mentioned my…

— Victoria Scott

“My lips move against hers, and the kiss says everything I'd hoped to hear. It tells me she loves me, and that…

— Victoria Scott

“There's the guy who trained me, you sexy son-of-a-bitch. I knew you could do this. I told the assistant, I said, 'Do…

— Victoria Scott

“I glance in the mirror. Surprise, surprise—I look finger-lickin’ delicious.”

— Victoria Scott

“It's not strange seeing her now, even knowing the things I know. I thought maybe it would be, but it's not. To…

— Victoria Scott

“I point a finger at her. “Thanks, babe.” “I am not your babe.” “Whatev.”

— Victoria Scott

“You nasty, you nasty. You mama said you nasty!”

— Victoria Scott

“At the end of the walkway is a cat. It struts with arrogance. You'd think it just won the Nobel Prize. But…

— Victoria Scott

“Ready or not! Before I can stop him, Max races toward the bed and dives on top of us. Oh! Oh it…

— Victoria Scott

“Annabelle smiles with one side of her mouth. "I don't look like a tomato?" "You look like a beauty." I take her…

— Victoria Scott

“Max dances around in a circle with one leg pulled up, and people move away as if he's mentally unstable. He and…

— Victoria Scott

“But let me tell ya, spend every day living only for yourself, every day indulging in little sins that aren’t that big…

— Victoria Scott

“Well, if you didn’t like that, this is going to feel like a swift kick to the nuts.”

— Victoria Scott

“It doesn't say a damn thing. My pride deflates like a limp penis.”

— Victoria Scott

“I’m so in love with you.” “‘Course you are … I’m freaking outstanding.”

— Victoria Scott

“Max is going through my overnight bag when I get back to Wink Hotel. My favorite part about this is that he…

— Victoria Scott

“D-Dub in the flesh.”

— Victoria Scott

“Inside Metro Diner, we grab a table near the back. A waitress who clearly ate a water buffalo for breakfast waddles to…

— Victoria Scott

“They grind their hips toward each other, and I wonder why the slightest bit of booze turns chicks into lesbos.”

— Victoria Scott

“The coffee tastes like a donkey’s ass”

— Victoria Scott

“If you could have anything, Dante, anything at all, what would it be? She slurs. Her. I want Charlie.”

— Victoria Scott