Nikhil Saluja

If we ever get into war, only the children must evacuate. Women must fight like the equals they are!

— Nikhil Saluja

The weirdest thing just happened. I passed by a group of girls who weren't talking about other girls.

— Nikhil Saluja

Suicide is never the answer. Unless the question is How do I cover up a murder?

— Nikhil Saluja

Failure doesnt mean you are a failure¦¦ it does mean you havent succeeded yet!

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde was always careful to remove her watch before putting on bug spray because she didn't want it to kill the…

— Nikhil Saluja

Saying you like beer for it's taste is the same as saying you like women for their brains.

— Nikhil Saluja

If a woman has her tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette watch out. She's having a terrible day.

— Nikhil Saluja

Failure doesnt mean you are inferior¦¦ it does mean you are not perfect!

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them;

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't care if I offend any gays. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke.

— Nikhil Saluja

So you like to play games? Cool,here's one for you...Go play 'Hide and go fuck yourself'

— Nikhil Saluja

Blowjobs: Any girl can swallow but it takes a special kind of lady to gargle.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are no relationship problems that can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy;

— Nikhil Saluja

I learned how jackoff with my feet, I call it the look ma' no hands.

— Nikhil Saluja

They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show…

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate when people walk in on me masturbating and look at me like I'm the asshole.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical)

— Nikhil Saluja

Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everyone should experience the pure joy of leaving a fart in someone's office at least once in their lifetime.

— Nikhil Saluja

The doctor asked me how much I drink and I told her it depends on how much money I have.

— Nikhil Saluja

As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired.

— Nikhil Saluja

For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face.

— Nikhil Saluja

You should wear a condom on your head because if your gunna act like a dick might as well dress like one.

— Nikhil Saluja

My favorite game is shit I lost my phone in my blankets where the fuck did it go

— Nikhil Saluja

I press all the Try Me buttons on the toys and then just walk away.

— Nikhil Saluja

I Followed you, I starred you, I retweeted you, I DM'ed you, I lost you, I blocked you, I never wanna see…

— Nikhil Saluja

Why don't blind people sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of their dogs!

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't understand how girls could be so in love with a guy one week and the next not even talk to…

— Nikhil Saluja

They named it Twitter because Licking each other dirty asses was too long.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everyone has a life story. Mine will probably end with something like then he found twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

Who wants to lend me their cleavage? Need more followers. Will pay weekly.

— Nikhil Saluja

Gossip is talking about someone who's not present at that moment.

— Nikhil Saluja

If Men Got Pregnant: They'd have to stop saying, I'm afraid I'll drop him.

— Nikhil Saluja

Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just saw my dog's dick. Having trouble looking him in the eyes now.

— Nikhil Saluja

If Men Got Pregnant: They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not a narcissist, I just like to spend most of the day infront of the mirror admiring God's gift to earth.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fitness Tip: When you incur violent diarrhea while running, consider it calories burned!

— Nikhil Saluja