Let him open your mind before he opens your Legs. The bond usually lasts longer. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
Ladies: if we have sex, there's a 50/50 chance we won't speak again. If you get pregnant, there's a 100% chance you'll… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six… — Nikhil Saluja Medicine Copy Share Image
No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Want to know who to blame for all of your misfortunes? YOURSELF! Quit blaming everyone for the drama you create in your… — Nikhil Saluja Blame Copy Share Image
Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If you like internet jokes, you should see my online bank account. — Nikhil Saluja Bank account Copy Share Image
Being a Mother means that your heart is no longer yours; it wanders wherever your children go. — Nikhil Saluja Being a mom Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you are a failure¦¦ it does mean you havent succeeded yet! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
A good friend will return your pendrive. A great friend will return it full of porn ! — Nikhil Saluja Friendship Copy Share Image
Thank god! I just checked and I'm a very caring person in a parallel universe. — Nikhil Saluja Caring person Copy Share Image
No need for revenge - Just sit back and wait...those that hurt you will eventually screw up all by themselves.! — Nikhil Saluja Revenge Copy Share Image
I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, Family Jewels. Or as it's known in the business, 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The people who says, the book is better than the movie, are fucking assholes. — Nikhil Saluja Book Copy Share Image
Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight. — Nikhil Saluja Every night Copy Share Image
I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn. — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
LOVE, The only thing that has changed over the millions of years of playing this game is that trumps have changed from… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is best assured when, instead of looking at each other, the two look out in the same direction; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I stick my middle finger up at the cops all the time. At night. When they're driving the opposite way. And we're… — Nikhil Saluja Middle finger Copy Share Image
Steps that lead to suicide: 1) Overthinking 2) Unfollowing Me. — Nikhil Saluja Suicide Copy Share Image
Try this: When someone you don't follow unfollows you, Follow them and when they follow back, Unfollow them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men look at women's behinds and go: what an ass! Women look at men faces and go: what an ass! — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
They say that men think about sex every 7 seconds, which is just ridicu... hang on, BRB! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you. — Nikhil Saluja Sitting in silence Copy Share Image
Following twitter celebrities is exactly like realizing that the pretty girl talking to you works for playboy. — Nikhil Saluja Pretty girl Copy Share Image
Imagine if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom & there was a picture of a… — Nikhil Saluja Tattoo Copy Share Image
Girls are like the bank, they'll loan you the pussy, just as long as your ass keeps making the monthly payment. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If women had to give a blowjob every time they said something bad, there would be no more obese women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I follow back everybody for a trial period of 2 weeks. If all your tweets are crappy during that period. I probably… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
