Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex and phone calls, I have mastered the art of keeping them under a few minutes. — Nikhil Saluja Art Copy Share Image
The only time a woman should have a man by the balls is when she's sucking on them. — Nikhil Saluja Balls Copy Share Image
LOVER(S), A person who could only be more perfect if your partner turned into a pizza at 4:00 am — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
This girl keeps starring my tweets and I keep starring her tweets but we never follow each other, are we married now? — Nikhil Saluja Tweets Copy Share Image
All a woman really wants is to know you care. And all of the sandles ever made. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Twitter: where your boobs can never be too big, even if you're a dude. — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
Just because God gave you a mouth doesn't mean you must constantly use it. — Nikhil Saluja God Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. — Nikhil Saluja Boil Copy Share Image
Every day I find out if I'm getting too fat by checking if I can lick my own nipples. Looks like I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Every day Copy Share Image
Being Friends is not always about stopping each other, from making mistakes, but it is always about being there., after the mistake… — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Beer Copy Share Image
The problem with being just friends is I have to watch you be with someone who doesn't deserve you when I could… — Nikhil Saluja Friends Copy Share Image
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
I just got engaged. My fiancée won't take my name because Lisa Levin sounds awful. So she's just going to remain Lisa… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I stick my middle finger up at the cops all the time. At night. When they're driving the opposite way. And we're… — Nikhil Saluja Cops Copy Share Image
Throughout my life, I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've missed, I've hurt, I've trusted, I've made mistakes. Most of all I've… — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you taken anything for it? — Nikhil Saluja Burglar Copy Share Image
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. — Nikhil Saluja Cannibals Copy Share Image
