All Dave Barry Quotes
- Black Stache had no love for the Queen, no love for women of any sort, except for his ma. He had a real soft spot… Any
- He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when he remembered that… Beloved
- There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an… Bunk
- Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain. Captain
- A secret society within a secret society. Inspirational
- That is the Wasp, yes. But it was captured by Black Stache, and he’s coming for this ship now.” “And how do you know that?”… Asked
- He could even think about how fast he was thinking about things. Even Think
- Land!” shouted Thomas. “Is there food?” asked Tubby Ted. Asked
- Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said… Asked
- His body rigid with terror as he waited for the savages to something horrible to him—bash his head with clubs, or stab him with spears,… Bash
- Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t. Get Killed
- How can you be afraid of women?” “Those ain’t normal women. Afraid
- No man had ever knocked little Richard down. But of course Ammm was not a man. Ammm
- You and Teacher,” said Molly. “Yes,” said Peter. “She’s very clever. You’ll like her.” “I’m sure,” said Molly. Clever
- She wanted to cry, but she did not want Peter to see her cry, and she especially did not want Teacher, with her flowing hair,… Cry
- You might have mentioned this to me Molly,” said Leonard. “The fact that there are hostile natives on the island.” “I forgot,” said Molly. “You… Been
- Stache’s attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran-pirate grasp tactics—and a big piece if luck. Attack
- The Mollusks—generous hosts when they weren’t trying to kill you. Generous
- Leonard Aster thanked Fighting Prawn and the Mollusk tribe for their hospitality. “You mean,” said Fighting Prawn, “for not killing you?” “Yes,” said Leonard. “It… Alarmed
- Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter. Animal
- All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the… All
- It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently… Activity
- Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales… Another Possible
- We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little… America
- I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes. Feet