« All Up Quotes · Dave Barry's Page
Up Quotes by Dave Barry
- Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can…
- If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find…
- In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.
- And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came…
- Kids have *_____ never* taken guidance from their parents. If you could travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the original…
- I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them…
- American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated…
- First, a few words about this title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin…
- Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage because you're trying…
- It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in…
- You should never pick up a newspaper when you're feeling good, because every newspaper has a special department, called the Bummer Desk, which is responsible…
- Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!
- I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'.
- The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even…
- Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night…
- Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to…
- Your federal government needs your money so that it can perform vital services for you that you would not think up yourself in a million…
- Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform…
- It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with…
More Up Quotes
- The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. — Hannah Arendt
- Revolutionaries do not make revolutions. The revolutionaries are those who know when power is lying in the street and then they can… — Hannah Arendt
- I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are the ones that ultimately end up… — J. J. Abrams
- All virtue is summed up in dealing justly. — Aristotle
- Growing up, my ideals were Barbra Streisand, Cher, and my mom. — Kevyn Aucoin
- When I was growing up, the men in my life were abusive; women were the ones I ran to for comfort. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Stories surge up out of nowhere, and if they feel compelling, you follow them. You let them unfold inside you and see… — Paul Auster
- Films and television and even comic books are churning out vast quantities of fictional narratives, and the public continues to swallow them… — Paul Auster