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- I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
- Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.
- And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came…
- I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover…
- Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage because you're trying…
- It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in…
- Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by…
- My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over…
- Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey than were killed…
- I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing…
- During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true vacation paradise, offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and…
- Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies,…
- All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by themselves; these are…
- Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks, and McNuggets- foods that have had…
- Dogs love to go for rides. A dog will happily get into any vehicle going anywhere.
- Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would…
- The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their…
- Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our highest priority is…
- This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to…
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- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle
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- I never thought being obnoxious would get me where I am today. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- The parents have to learn that the child should not be insulted, humiliated, condemned. If you want to help him, love him… — Rajneesh