« All Time Quotes · Dave Barry's Page
Time Quotes by Dave Barry
- The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.
- Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the…
- The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
- Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last…
- Kids have *_____ never* taken guidance from their parents. If you could travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the original…
- Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by 'they', I mean…
- It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in…
- You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
- And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income…
- I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate under severe time…
- My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over…
- Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it…
- Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to…
- One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time…
- Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.
- As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
- I liked making people laugh, and I decided I was an atheist early on. My Dad was all right with that. We argued about it…
- The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for…
- The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have…
- Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time by perspiring freely…
More Time Quotes
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people of Haiti,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- No punishment has ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the commission of crimes. On the contrary, whatever the punishment, once… — Hannah Arendt
- For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day; and so too one day, or a short time, does… — Aristotle
- When I immersed myself in prayer and united myself with all the Masses that were being celebrated all over the world at… — Mary Faustina Kowalska
- Never regret your past, the only thing you should regret is the time you've wasted with the wrong people. — Nishan Panwar
- I feel like obviously the standard for what TV looks like changes all the time. — J. J. Abrams
- I design for real people. I think of our customers all the time. There is no virtue whatsoever in creating clothing or… — Giorgio Armani