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Up Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
- I totally woke up on the wrong side of the conference table this afternoon.
- Beautician: the official occupation of the 'I wear too much make-up fat girl'.
- One time, I drunkenly threw up into a mailbox and yelled First class delivery and now I'm a dad.
- I wish pussy could talk just so that my dick would have the pleasure of shutting it the fuck up.
- Makeup sex: when I 'make up' some shit like, girl I still love you just so I can fuck.
- What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women!
- First come first serve is irrelevant when you show up with an AK-47.
- If a girl calls me a pussy my penis will fuck her up, cause it's one hardcore mother fucker.
- My mom at night: Goodnight my love, sweet dreams. In the morning: WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHIT
- Hey! *2 hours later* Whats up No its too late. I don't want to talk to you anymore.
- My mother always said, if you can`t say anything nice, then don`t say anything at all... And Then I signed-up for Facebook!
- Do you ever drop something and instead of picking it back up you just stare at on the ground and think about what a failure…
- We should definitely not catch up.
- Its so annoying when you're fed up with someones shit but you dont want to start something so you have to pretend that you dont…
- Don't give up just because things are hard.
- My penis always ends up in the eye of the beholder.
- If you text me first you better have something to talk about. Don't hit me up expecting me to start the conversation. It was your…
- I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
- I was just about to get up and do something useful with my life but then I read a motivational tweet.
- My inner child is up for adoption.
- I want to be a pharmacist. Just so I can yell Now take your suppositories and shove'em straight up your ass!
- Ladies, if a guy sticks his thumb in your ass durning doggystyle, don't get mad, we're just giving you a thumbs up.
- Blowjobs not only feel great, they're also a great way to get your girl to shut the fuck up.
- No need for revenge - Just sit back and wait...those that hurt you will eventually screw up all by themselves.!
- They say that you make a first impression after the first 7 seconds. To avoid this, I always show up 7 seconds late.
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More Up Quotes
- The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. — Hannah Arendt
- Revolutionaries do not make revolutions. The revolutionaries are those who know when power is lying in the street and then they can… — Hannah Arendt
- I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are the ones that ultimately end up… — J. J. Abrams
- All virtue is summed up in dealing justly. — Aristotle
- Growing up, my ideals were Barbra Streisand, Cher, and my mom. — Kevyn Aucoin
- When I was growing up, the men in my life were abusive; women were the ones I ran to for comfort. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Stories surge up out of nowhere, and if they feel compelling, you follow them. You let them unfold inside you and see… — Paul Auster
- Films and television and even comic books are churning out vast quantities of fictional narratives, and the public continues to swallow them… — Paul Auster
- Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside… — Diane Ackerman
- I write the paragraph, then I'm crossing out, changing words, trying to improve it. When it seems more or less OK, then… — Paul Auster
- Get this in mind early: We never grow up. — Richard Bach
- People are so damned afraid that one day they might wake up and discover that they've grown old. — Billie Joe Armstrong