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Other Quotes by Dave Barry
- You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other…
- All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
- The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each…
- Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.
- Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would take one of…
- Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies,…
- The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each…
- Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force…
- Most American homes have alternating current, which means that the electricty goes in one direction for a while, then goes in the other direction. This…
- I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar into the water is asking for trouble.…
- The trouble is, you cannot grow just one zucchini. Minutes after you plant a single seed, hundreds of zucchini will barge out of the ground…
- The best way to understand this whole issue is to look at what the government does: it takes money from some people, keeps a bunch…
- Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually…
- Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain…
- You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying…
- If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered…
- The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the lamest, wimpiest beer…
- I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it relieves nasal congestion.…
- One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night of drinking, a…
- At the height of rush hour, people on the London underground actually say "excuse me." Imagine what would happen if you tried an insane stunt…
- We decide to start with the best-known sight of all, the one that, more than any other, exemplifies what the Big Apple is all about:…
- 9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the parties had to…
- ... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them.…
- The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to…
- Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs…
More Other Quotes
- Power and violence are opposites; where the one rules absolutely, the other is absent. Violence appears where power is in jeopardy, but… — Hannah Arendt
- The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both of the other classes. — Aristotle
- Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes… — Aristotle
- A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler… — Aristotle
- In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. The young they keep out of mischief; to the… — Aristotle
- The greatest virtues are those which are most useful to other persons. — Aristotle
- No one would choose a friendless existence on condition of having all the other things in the world. — Aristotle
- Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. — Aristotle
- It is Homer who has chiefly taught other poets the art of telling lies skillfully. — Aristotle
- Perfect friendship is the friendship of men who are good, and alike in excellence; for these wish well alike to each other… — Aristotle
- Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. — Dick Armey
- Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so… — Richard Armour