"... Once you're safely in the mall, you……" — Dave Barry

... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children… - Dave Barry

"... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up."

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508 Quotes by Dave Barry

Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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More Advertisements Quotes

This quote is filed under Advertisements Quotes, one of 142 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

Politeness and civility are the best capital ever invested in business. Large stores, gilt signs, flaming advertisements, will all prove… — P T Barnum
The advertisements in a newspaper are more full knowledge in respect to what is going on in a state or… — Henry Ward Beecher
We read advertisements... to discover and enlarge our desires. We are always ready - even eager - to discover, from… — Daniel J. Boorstin
I'm not a very good advertisement for the American school system. — David Brinkley
I see no reason why the artistic world can't absolutely merge with Madison Avenue. Pop art is a move in… — William S. Burroughs
Today, our attention is less than the television advertisement. We're looking at six or seven problems constantly. We're living in… — Marina Abramovic
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. — Mark Twain
Goresthorpe Grange is a feudal mansion - or so it was termed in the advertisement which originally brought it under… — Arthur Conan Doyle
I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is… — Phil Dusenberry
Giving feels good, but it's also good for the bottom line. Charity is a viable growth strategy for a lot… — Blake Mycoskie
There are no more ideologies in the authentic sense of false consciousness, only advertisements for the world through its duplication… — Theodor Adorno
Advertisements are now so numerous that they are very negligently perused, and it is therefore become necessary to gain attention… — Samuel Johnson

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