Claus Quotes
153 quotes by 134 authors
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We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus; but our ideas…
— Karen Armstrong
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
— Victor Borge
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I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib…
— Julie Burchill
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Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
— Samuel Butler
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He was a parade all by himself, a burst of dazzle and jingle, Santa Claus drinking his whiskey straight and groaning with a bellyache... Babe…
— Jimmy Cannon
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened…
— W.C. Fields
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You remember when you were a kid growing up, and believed in Santa Claus? There's not much difference between Santa Claus and me today, you…
— Bobby Knight
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A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty.
— William Feather
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God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
— H. L. Mencken
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If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is…
— Jack Handey
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No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard…
— Al Smith
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One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts.
— Dennis Franz
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Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent…
— Robert E. Lee
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A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset.
— James Gould Cozzens
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The saddest moment in a child's life is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Vince Russo is.
— Jim Cornette
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How is Christmas regarded today? The legend of Santa Claus, the Christmas tree, the decorations of tinsel and mistletoe, and the giving of gifts all…
— Howard W. Hunter
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Well when I was a kid, I asked Santa Claus for some toys. Santa Claus wrote me a letter that he lost his bag. He…
— Benicio Del Toro
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Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying…
— Meg Ryan
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What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this…
— Bill Maher
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I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementarys school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was…
— James Frecheville
Who Wrote These Claus Quotes
134 authors contributed a total of 153 Claus Quotes, led by these top contributors: