Humorous Quotes
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
- I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. — Isaac Asimov
- Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all time low over the world. — Isaac Asimov
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. — Tallulah Bankhead
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — Honore de Balzac
- It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than… — Honore de Balzac
- Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams
- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. — Douglas Adams
- Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. — Joey Adams
- It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. — Dave Barry
- Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. — Dave Barry
- The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. — Dave Barry
- American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it. — Dave Barry
- America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. — John Barrymore
- Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. — Scott Adams