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Humorous Quotes by Bob Hope
- It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on…
- It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.
- As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of…
- There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
- She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
- Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
- The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the…
- Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
- My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.
- We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
- England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
- The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
- All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
- I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.
- There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
- English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower.
- There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "
- I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
- Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
- Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers...
- Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.
- The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and…
- The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.
- Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
- Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan,…
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More Humorous Quotes
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
- I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. — Isaac Asimov
- Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all time low over the world. — Isaac Asimov
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. — Tallulah Bankhead
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — Honore de Balzac
- It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty… — Honore de Balzac
- Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams