Bob Hope Quotes

188 quotes in 1818 categories

• I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
• I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
• I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
• Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.
• Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
• It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
• He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
• Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.
• Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't…
• Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count…
• My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!
• Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side…
• President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
• Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is…
• On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.
• If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
• Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
• It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded.
• We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
• The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

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