"I had no shoes and I pitied myself.……" — Dave Barry

"I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes."

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508 Quotes by Dave Barry

Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…

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More Feet Quotes

This quote is filed under Feet Quotes, one of 4,391 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

You can't put your feet on the ground until you've touched the sky. — Paul Auster
I don't think of myself as a metafictional writer at all. I think of myself as a classic writer, a… — Paul Auster
Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the Moon. July 1969 AD. We came in peace for… — Neil Armstrong
I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political… — Margaret Atwood
What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the… — Saint Augustine
I never really look for anything. What God throws my way comes. I wake up in the morning and whichever… — Pearl Bailey
To revolt is a natural tendency of life. Even a worm turns against the foot that crushes it. In general,… — Mikhail Bakunin
Laws are spider webs through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught. — Honore de Balzac
My mom never taught me to be waiting for some prince on a white horse to swipe me off my… — Tyra Banks
If you play a tune and a person don't tap their feet, don't play the tune. — Count Basie
Now, if you notice how the swan, putting its neck down into the deep water, brings up food for itself… — Saint Basil
Old-fashioned ways which no longer apply to changed conditions are a snare in which the feet of women have always… — Jane Addams

See all 4,391 Feet Quotes »