Senators Quotes by Jay Leno

17 Senators quotes by Jay Leno

Jay Leno brings his comedic lens to the Senate in 17 witty remarks. He pokes fun at the quirks of political life while still hinting at the serious work behind the scenes, offering a light‑hearted yet pointed look at lawmakers.

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The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

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The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty…

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Senator Chris Dodd unveiled his plan to reduce corruption in the Senate. He's retiring.

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Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really…

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Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

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John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move…

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Senator Kerry recovering very nicely after having shoulder surgery. The doctors said the senator was fully awake, lucid and joking after the…

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Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to drop the name Clinton from…

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In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.'…

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As we watched Judge Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court confirmation hearings, all of the commentators said the same thing: 'One of these people…

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The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do…

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The Senate voted 97-0 for an anti-spam bill to stop those annoying things you get on your computer. The senators made it…

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In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan…

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John Kerry fell off of his bicycle over the weekend. He went for a Sunday afternoon ride, fell off in front of…

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In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war…

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The Democratic Leadership Council has named Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton to design a plan to help define an agenda to the Democratic…

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There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this…

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If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

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Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…

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Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.

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There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't…

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Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.…

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American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade…

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I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet…

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just…

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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

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The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet…

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The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of…

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Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…

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Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going…

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Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out…

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