“What if dating apps are mostly populated by Deep Fakes, designed to get you to waste your life swiping right and keep… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Control your temper, or it will control you. Sometimes even remotely, like a toy car. Christmas is coming up, and for only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could have been used as a father figure in place of my dad when I was growing up, because a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The other day I tried to design a finish line, but I didn’t know where to start. So I just sat there… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We made love like oysters, and then we ate oysters. Then we made love like two people sitting on opposite ends of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be hung on your living room wall, and watched instead of nightly news. Not only would it be more… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a PRA, or Person Replacement Apparatus. Just give the brick a name, start talking to it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If you could change War’s name, do you think you’d change its nature?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I loved her so much, but she vanished from my life. She didn’t just suddenly disappear, but she slowly began losing her… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: Would you rather be the first female U.S. President, the first woman to walk on the moon, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am not the No Factory I yessed into existence. I love with an intensity that needs to be felt to be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you're looking to take a long, beautiful drive through life, you might not want to take the cynic view.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made love to a woman on a boat once. It was still on the showroom floor, but the way I rocked… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some events in your life leave a lasting impression. A thing that majorly impacted my life was the car that hit me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My life is a puff of smoke in a tornado. We are all furiously whirling into nothingness.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If love existed an octave above where your vocal range ended, would you buy a dog whistle to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve got semen stains on my shirt, and spaghetti stains on my underwear. Ah, but that’s life, no?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nobody is either honest or dishonest. Life is a gradient, and a saint might be an 8.7, and a dirtbag politician might… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I cleaned out my belly button last night, and I found the meaning of life. Gosh, I wonder how long it’s been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much you love them. Instead of tossing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This is the true story of my life, as told by a complete liar (me). While that sounds like an honest statement,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
