“The window of life is mirrored. And tinted. And shattered. And borrowed.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you're looking to take a long, beautiful drive through life, you might not want to take the cynic view.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My advice is to just ignore the problem until you’re dead. This could be the quickest solution of your life.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s where the government is storing all my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if not a marathon of love? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With a last name like Elov, you’d probably have a mixed up love life.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Divorce is the second worst event in a person’s life. The worst event, of course, is marriage.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve spent half my life searching for the truth. The left half of my life.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A person’s favorite word is brother, because he or she can relate to it. I love it because we value most in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be dropped at the feet of your enemy, as a gift, as an insult, as a way of saying… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I met a man named Birthday. I didn’t tell him when I was born, because I thought that that one day in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d prefer going on a date with 10 women at once. Not only might I get a bulk discount at the restaurant,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: Let’s say we’re making love on the moon, and my clone decides to show up. Would you tell… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We made love like oysters, and then we ate oysters. Then we made love like two people sitting on opposite ends of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best thing to do with a seven-year-old is wait until they’re eight to tell them to wait until they’re 18 to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Life is made up of only one thing: the now. The past and the future could be considered dreams, if only they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want a house with a garage, so someone from the government won’t try to park a tank in my living room.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Only the living can read. This means that when I write, my target market is people of the future. Greetings, people of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A writer must be a lifelong reader to be good. And if you want to be a great writer, I’d suggest trying… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The flashing black line on an empty Word document reminds me that my life is counting down second by second, and that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I was two, a year was half of my life. It must have felt like forever. But when I’m 99, a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to do something for a living that when it comes time to retire and I can stop doing it, I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Having a good life doesn’t mean nothing bad happens. It means using sadness and setback as mechanisms for spiritual growth. That’s the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m itching for battle—with a mosquito bite. The only thing in life I’ll scratch at more is the need to be loved.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I were king, I wouldn’t pay you the money I owe you. I’d give you a far more valuable gift: the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He’s only two years younger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not old enough to be his father. I grew up fast. Ah,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What is life without death? That's like asking what is peanut butter without jelly? Or a baseball game on TV and changing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: What is the price of love, and would you rather tally it with an abacus or an early… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t sleep on the left side of the bed, or the right side, because there is a third option: to not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If love covered as much of the earth’s surface as the oceans, would you still urinate in your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Funerals, Coffins, and Death. It’s not just a way of life; it’s also for breakfast. Yes, that is the new cereal I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We can be anything we want to be in this life. And I’d like to be you. But there can’t be two… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruction instead of soda, would you grab an extra large… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made love to a woman on a boat once. It was still on the showroom floor, but the way I rocked… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“One of the things you never want to be in this life is boring. But once, sad to say, I put my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think you know if you disappeared from my life I’d be upset, but ultimately I’d make myself a new invisible cloak,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
