“A brick is a barometer of love. Give it to the girl of your dreams, and see if she uses it to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To take another person’s life for personal gain is the most selfish act imaginable. Especially when that other person is your clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I can’t go anywhere. Maybe I’ll try to coax my cat… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I told the tree it was going nowhere in life. It was hurtful, but true. Now, maybe in death it will go… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We couldn’t make love, unfortunately, because she was dead. I didn’t kill her, if that’s what you’re wondering. She died long before… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He played a great part in my life. It was great in that it was a majority of time, but it wasn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In the future, it’ll be my child, but it will be my child’s life, so I must name it not for me,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“So that was how I spent nine months of my life. I felt like I was pregnant, except instead of giving life,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A tree once saved my life. A posse was going to hang me, but this wise old oak would not let them.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To not feel like such a “third wheel,” I rode my tricycle to the restaurant where they were having their first date.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To be surrounded by sixty people who make your life miserable is to be at a family reunion. But to be surrounded… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The piece of junk is a piece of me. It’s a part of my family, and I can’t part with it. The… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a PRA, or Person Replacement Apparatus. Just give the brick a name, start talking to it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my name were Theodore Tiffany, my goal in life would be to meet and marry a woman named Tiffany Theodore. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some events in your life leave a lasting impression. A thing that majorly impacted my life was the car that hit me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dad was born poor, made a fortune during his life, and then died suddenly—murdered by his only son, leaving his vast… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much you love them. Instead of tossing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To live a sinless life is good, but if you live in a cave and positively influence nobody, you may not have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When your family dies, that’s a bummer, but that’s life. When my family dies, it’s a tragedy and the world is unbalanced… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The lunchmeat fell on the floor, and I didn’t know what to do, so I wiped it off on the bottom of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The birds bark my name, and I meow theirs in return. I may be a bit mixed up about life, but not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m as deadly as a marine, when compared to marine plant life. It took lots of water, sunlight, and standing still to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love, like lightning, can strike anytime. That’s why I say tinfoil is not just for leftovers—it’s for channeling romance into your life.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My two parents represent the single greatest influence on my life. And if my dad had been there for me, it would… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they do life's menial tasks. For example, I saw my neighbor… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wouldn’t mind politicians lying to me, stealing from me, or senselessly making life difficult if they didn’t try to claim they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to be a politician because I like the idea of public service. Come on, who wouldn’t want all the people… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I spent ten years in prison, I’d probably come to value the small things in life. Things like good food, a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I celebrate my birthday in ways not seen this side of the Old Testament. I celebrate my life like the Dead Sea,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The baby looked at me as if to say, You never stop to consider my life. I looked back as if to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you expect others to think for you, then you expect others to live your life for you. And I’m sorry, but… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is 90% what life is about, plus or minus 10%. Of course, I just made both figures up, and made-up figures… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If a cold breeze signifies a ghost, then the arctic must be really haunted. I’m going there next week, because I’ve got… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I may give up on life one day, but that doesn’t mean my clones will just roll over and die. There are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Control your temper, or it will control you. Sometimes even remotely, like a toy car. Christmas is coming up, and for only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were comparing scars. All of yours were on your body, while all of my scars… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The other day I tried to design a finish line, but I didn’t know where to start. So I just sat there… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
