Left Quotes by Jay Leno

11 Left quotes by Jay Leno

Leno’s stand‑up lens on politics surfaces in these eleven short jokes, offering a chuckle‑filled look at the Left.

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Apparently, Osama bin Laden was killed with money and phone numbers sewn into his clothing. So we got him right before he…

Jay Leno

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Presidential Democratic front-runner Howard Dean admitted to Chris Matthews on the 'Hardball' show that he got out of the draft because of…

Jay Leno

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Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred…

Jay Leno

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But the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less…

Jay Leno

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Thanksgiving began in 1621 when Native Americans sat down with a bunch of undocumented pilgrims. They had dinner and the pilgrims never left.

Jay Leno

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If you think of life as like a big pie, you can try to hold the whole pie and kill yourself trying…

Jay Leno

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(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person,…

Jay Leno

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Nancy Pelosi said that when it comes to cleaning up government, the Democrats have drained the swamp. The only problem with that…

Jay Leno

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I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like…

Jay Leno

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Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you…

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The Democratic Convention is $27 million in debt. They had to cancel the kick-off event at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. A speedway…

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If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

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Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…

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Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.

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There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't…

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“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn…

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Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.…

Jay Leno

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American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade…

Jay Leno

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I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet…

Jay Leno

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just…

Jay Leno

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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

Jay Leno

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The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet…

Jay Leno

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The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of…

Jay Leno

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Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…

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Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going…

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Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out…

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