Tonight I insist on eating authentic Mexican food while wearing a novelty sombrero. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Remember that Cinco de Mayo is an important celebration for Mexicans everywhere except almost all of Mexico. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pretending to appreciate heartfelt mariachi songs may be the key to getting laid this Cinco de Mayo. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Today I'm making Hispanics more comfortable by peppering conversations with my feeble high school Spanish. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Please make sure photos of me from Cinco de Mayo are kept as concealed as photos of Bin Laden's death. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cinco de Mayo has come to represent a celebration of the contributions that Mexican Americans and all Hispanics have made to America. — Joe Baca Copy Share Image
Whats the big deal about Cinco De Mayo. I've been drinking my ass off Everydayo of Mayo. — Jake Owen Copy Share Image
Cinco de Mayo is an important day. The Mexicans had to defend themselves from the French. It is historically significant, but it… — Kuno Becker Copy Share Image
I had to learn quick, because I was performing in Cinco de Mayo festivals with babies crying and people lifting their beers,… — Sandra Cisneros Copy Share Image
For children, diversity needs to be real and not merely relegated to learning the names of the usual suspects during Black History… — John Ridley Copy Share Image
People ask me all the time, 'What do you do for Cinco de Mayo?' And my honest answer is always, 'When I… — Marcela Valladolid Copy Share Image
I was fortunately able to avoid getting into any trouble with police. There was - I remember I was 12, and I… — Mahershala Ali Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton made a campaign stop in Las Vegas yesterday. She said she wants citizenship for undocumented immigrants. But after seeing Americans… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Let's make up for Cinco de Mayo being on a Saturday by starting our celebration on Wednesday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's celebrate Uno, Dos, Tres, and Cuatro de Mayo just like it's Cinco de Mayo. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just curious if we can count my phoning you to bail me out of jail this Cinco de Mayo as my Mother's… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry I wished you a Happy Cinco de Mayo not knowing you're Dominican or Honduran or that that makes a difference. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Cinco de Mayo, let's party like Mexican rock stars if they existed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can think of many reasonable excuses for needing a cocktail, but Cinco De Mayo is always a no-brainer. — Rachel Hollis Copy Share Image
It may be best to set aside the rest of May to apologize for what you're going to do this Cinco de… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your Cinco de Mayo be free of any unfortunate Pinata related incidents. . . — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
Let's honor the bravery of Mexican soldiers this Cinco de Mayo by drunkenly devouring a Doritos-shelled taco. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't drink anymore for Cinco de Mayo. I celebrate with Mexican food, or as it's known in Mexico: 'food.' — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Let's avoid direct professional confrontations by putting severance checks in the office pinata. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you're cool when it's cinco de mayo and you're in your pjs...Sober... — Sarah Hyland Copy Share Image
Happy Cinco de Mayo. If you don't know what that means, maybe you're a little out of touch - or maybe you're… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Happy Cinco de Mayo! It’s a holiday that’s as respectful of Mexican traditions as Epcot Center’s Mexican food pavilion. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Every year thousands of Americans mistakenly refer to Cinco de Mayo as Mexico's Independence Day. — Joe Baca Copy Share Image
I'll hook up with you this Cinco de Mayo if you can refrain from calling me a hot tamale. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm celebrating Cinco de Mayo by puking tequila and gorditas on the side of a Taco Bell. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A New York businessman is launching a new kosher tequila in time for Cinco de Mayo. 'Finally,' said Pablo Goldberg. — Seth Meyers Copy Share Image
Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's interrupt a week of unbridled American patriotism for a half-assed celebration of Mexico. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Cinco de Mayo, let's teach Mexicans in Arizona how to look as white as possible while partying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
