Bills Quote by David Letterman

“Happy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with guacamole.”

David Letterman

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Bills Cinco de mayo Cities Filling Guacamole Honor Mayors New york New york city Potholes York City

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I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

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“There is no off position on the genius”

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I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to…

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If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all.

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If you’re a person struggling to eat and stay healthy you might have heard about Michael Jordan or Muhammad Ali, but you’ll never have…

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Some of the folks on both sides might be sincere, but it does seem as if it is only the opposition that cares about…

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[Sport officials] blocked their support of us. But those individuals [ Muhammad Ali, the Jim Browns, the Bill Russells, Kareem Abdul Jabbar ] were…

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Simple fairness dictates that government must not raise taxes on families struggling to pay their bills.

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[A]s you partake of the world's bill of fare, that's darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.…

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I will not agree to have this bill [to repeal DADT ] go forward, because our economy is in the tank.

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This is not really currency that circulates. It's like the old joke about expensive vintage wine. Wine prices will go up and once in…

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If Bill Gates left Microsoft we wouldn't allow Donald Trump to run it.

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Your goal should be to pay off your credit card bills in full at the end of each month and set aside money toward…

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He's fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see.

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There's nothing nice about Steve Jobs and there's nothing evil about Bill Gates

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At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth…

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Bills Quote by David Letterman

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