If you dropped me off a space platform onto the ground where a line was drawn, I would fall to the left… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The fact that I didn't finish school left me with a lifelong need to prove that I'm smart, prove it to myself,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“The fact that I didn't finish school left me with a lifelong need to prove that I'm smart, prove it to myself, maybe to the world. I [also] needed to be - not the center of attention - but I needed to be able to attract attention when I wanted it, through my stunts and my fooling around physically…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/eba/george-carlin-155_able_the-fact-that-i-didn-t-finish-school-lef_1584523.jpg)
![“I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around in a tough neighborhood. It was common to curse, you make your point. It's a very effective language. I try not to overdo it. It's never to shock. I know where it fits, it's…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/17c/george-carlin-155_common_i-use-the-vulgar-words-because-apparentl_2276939.jpg)
