Left Quotes by George Carlin

11 Left quotes by George Carlin

All Left quotes George Carlin’s page

Carlin’s humor never held back when he addressed the Left; these eleven quips capture his irreverent edge.

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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

George Carlin

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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?

George Carlin

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I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left.

George Carlin

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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.

George Carlin

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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's…

George Carlin

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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I…

George Carlin

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The fact that I didn't finish school left me with a lifelong need to prove that I'm smart, prove it to myself,…

George Carlin

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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally…

George Carlin

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I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around…

George Carlin

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I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have…

George Carlin

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If you dropped me off a space platform onto the ground where a line was drawn, I would fall to the left…

George Carlin

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More by George Carlin

I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

George Carlin

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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.

George Carlin

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Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…

George Carlin

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“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…

George Carlin

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“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…

George Carlin

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I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

George Carlin

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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.

George Carlin

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“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…

George Carlin

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You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

George Carlin

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It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…

George Carlin

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Is there another word for synonym?

George Carlin

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The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…

George Carlin

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These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

George Carlin

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

George Carlin

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What was the best thing before sliced bread?

George Carlin

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