Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I am absolutely sick unto death of hearing people say - they all say this; it must be Item One on the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Japanese tend to communicate via nuance and euphemism, often leaving important things unsaid; whereas Americans tend to think they're being subtle… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Excellence is THE trend of the '80s. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
