“There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen..........Treat me like a queen and off with your head” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the rhetorical question” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die....mine will be wearing a trench coat” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If life is a bowl of cherries.... do you know how many virgins it took to make that....” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
