“Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels…” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Love is just the chocolate-coated realization you're going to spend the rest of your life with a person and unfortunately it melts… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Ever feel like dialing 911 is just simply not enough, and you really need to speak to someone on the Supreme Court...?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“'Having' Your Cake…a little perverted… 'Eating' it too…a lot perverted!” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light… for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the rhetorical question” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If life is a bowl of cherries… do you know how many virgins it took to make that…” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die…mine will be wearing a trench coat” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
