“You're Nash's brother. And a grim reaper?" She blinked again, and I readied myself for hysterics, or fear, or laughter. But knowing… — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
Men go back to the mountains, as they go back to sailing ships at sea, because in the mountains and on the… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
“You are my flesh and blood and I have always doted on you, but right now I would have to say you… — Mary Balogh Copy Share Image
This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me,… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how… — Margaret Thatcher Copy Share Image
“I still didn’t know quite what the witches were capable of. The threshold could be booby-trapped or enchanted. I could be walking… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I moved to New York and went to a performing arts college, but it wasn't until UCB that I started performing on… — Nicole Byer Copy Share Image
I never aim to be funny. I'm always just focused on telling the story authentically, and if that affects people sometimes through… — Da'Vine Joy Randolph Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you realize you're walking in the wrong direction, so you hit your pocket pretending you forgot something.. :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
TEACHER: What is the different between problem and challenge???? STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem 1boy+3girls=challenge.. — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
When I read the 'Ugly Betty' pilot, I thought, 'Oh, this part's funny.' I said to my husband, 'I'm going to get… — Becki Newton Copy Share Image
I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he does, whether he's a vice president at… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. I was writing a ‘Sex for dummies-Christians That Secretly What to be Porn Stars-… — Crystal Hudson Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Like any good teacher, she tolerated little dissension. She smoked and talked and ate for an hour without stopping, and I scribbled… — John Green Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
I was determined to make a movie - about families and a love story - that black women would be proud to… — Salim Akil Copy Share Image
My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
He [Chris Martin] can't have background music on. It has to be 100 percent of his attention. But if he isn't at… — Gwyneth Paltrow Copy Share Image
31ST OR 1ST APRIL DOESNT MATTER.. FOOL IS ALWAYS A FOOL,WISHIN U A VERY HAPPY N PROSPEROUS FOOLS DAY.. TO THE KING… — Hafsa Copy Share Image
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We are here to affirm, not to deny... when we affirm all that is God, all that is not God is automatically… — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
There are 2 reasons I haven't killed you. I don't know what to do with the body and I'm the most likely… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“You know,” he says, voice still low.“I have had nothing but trouble since you walked into my life.” “I’d walk straight back… — L.H. Cosway Copy Share Image
I hate when I cant remember if I am drying off my face with the same side of the towel I dried… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later sayingK ... Are you asking to be punched? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lou Holtz, I was also a huge fan of. He was really funny. I think that's a big part of why I… — Matt Besser Copy Share Image
Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
“The situation was absurd. He wore riding boots with spurs. Her hair tumbled about her like a shaggy pony's. They were in… — Marissa Doyle Copy Share Image
That awkward moment When you are busy writing a rather long but important article and you start approaching the word limit of… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“You never laugh," she said. "You behave as if everything is funny to you, but you never laugh. Sometimes you smile when… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I figured out Karl Rove's political strategy -- make gas so expensive, no Democrats can afford to go to the polls. — John F. Kerry Copy Share Image
I'm doing a pilot for Comedy Central with the band Steel Panther. They're faux heavy metal. They started as kind of a… — Brian Posehn Copy Share Image
It's so funny to think about it now, but I kind of toned everything down about myself for 'Idol.' When it came… — Adore Delano Copy Share Image
![“I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he does, whether he's a vice president at Chase or a cab driver.” quote by Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e94/anonymous-1_age_i-think-he-archie-bunker-is-in-every-man_1707225.jpg)
![“He [Chris Martin] can't have background music on. It has to be 100 percent of his attention. But if he isn't at home, I turn on the hip-hop. I'm like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.” quote by Gwyneth Paltrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/69e/gwyneth-paltrow-1230_attention_he-chris-martin-can-t-have-background-mu_1695027.jpg)
