I am sure I have a defective iphone, I keep pressing the home button and Im still at work — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Worst Month of the Year: February. February has only 28 days in it, which means that if you rent an apartment, you… — Steven Rubenstein Copy Share Image
I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers. — Rudyard Kipling Copy Share Image
Begin to act from your dominion. Declare the truth by telling yourself that there is nothing to be afraid of, that you… — Ernest Holmes Copy Share Image
“I said I was sorry, Dani..." Kevin said, as they entered the apartment. "I'm so not talking to you." "I couldn't help… — Failte Copy Share Image
"I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
A fine city with too many socialists and mosquitoes. At least you can spray the mosquitoes. — Ralph Klein Copy Share Image
“Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'd be much more efficient if I could combine hating my job with hating Two and a Half Men. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can build a throne with bayonets, but it's difficult to sit on it. — Boris Yeltsin Copy Share Image
You're coming to Buzzfeed's homepage not for yourself, but to find something to share with someone else. — Jonah Copy Share Image
If you don't have much going wrong in your life, then you don't have much going on in your life. — Larry Winget Copy Share Image
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to… — Kristen Stewart Copy Share Image
Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
Ever see a guy with cerebral palsy run through a speed ladder? I mean, that is funny. — Josh Blue Copy Share Image
“SWEEP!' THe Titan grinned with delight and did a victory dance.'Sweep, sweep, sweep!” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thought that is no longer limited, brings experience that is no longer limited — Marianne Williamson Copy Share Image
