Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office. — Arthur Smith Acting Copy Share Image
I read 'Crime and Punishment' years ago and don't recall the details of it, but I do retain a strong sense of… — Arthur Smith Crime Copy Share Image
I've noticed that my resolutions involve me not doing stuff that I wasn't going to do anyway so here's something more positive.… — Arthur Smith Anyway Copy Share Image
A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just… — Arthur Smith Agree Copy Share Image
The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance. — Arthur Smith Colour Copy Share Image
The Romantic poets were the prototype ramblers, and I've often found myself following in their footsteps - although perhaps not all of… — Arthur Smith Although Copy Share Image
Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the… — Arthur Smith Bears Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's good to do something that you've never done before, so yesterday, I went out to buy Elton John's new album. — Arthur Smith Album Copy Share Image
I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them… — Arthur Smith Brain Copy Share Image
My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's… — Arthur Smith Believe Copy Share Image
The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself… — Arthur Smith Caring Copy Share Image
Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in… — Arthur Smith Beloved Copy Share Image
An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist. — Arthur Smith Art Copy Share Image
About every four years, someone says to me, 'I've got a friend who looks exactly like you.' What can you say to… — Arthur Smith Four Copy Share Image
I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles… — Arthur Smith Avocados Copy Share Image
Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross? — Arthur Smith About Copy Share Image
It's the time of year when the literati give advice on what we should be reading on our summer holidays. These terrifying… — Arthur Smith About Copy Share Image
The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into… — Arthur Smith About Copy Share Image
I have a suspicion that a lot of artists are trying to get a laugh but, unlike stand-ups, they don't get an… — Arthur Smith Art Copy Share Image
Occasionally I find a travel book that is both illuminating and entertaining, where vivid writing and research replace self-indulgence and sloppy prose. — Arthur Smith Book Copy Share Image
Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography. — Arthur Smith Autobiography Copy Share Image
Someone once described me as the Zelig of comedy, and I think I know what he means. — Arthur Smith Comedy Copy Share Image
