Comedy Quotes by Arthur Smith

Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office.

— Arthur Smith

I read 'Crime and Punishment' years ago and don't recall the details of it, but I do retain a strong sense of the creeping…

— Arthur Smith

I've noticed that my resolutions involve me not doing stuff that I wasn't going to do anyway so here's something more positive. I'm going…

— Arthur Smith

A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just taking a…

— Arthur Smith

The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance.

— Arthur Smith

The Romantic poets were the prototype ramblers, and I've often found myself following in their footsteps - although perhaps not all of their footsteps…

— Arthur Smith

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff…

— Arthur Smith

Sometimes it's good to do something that you've never done before, so yesterday, I went out to buy Elton John's new album.

— Arthur Smith

I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

— Arthur Smith

Sometimes it's bad to do something you've never done before.

— Arthur Smith

My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on.

— Arthur Smith

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its…

— Arthur Smith

I abhor nothing more than bumping into someone I know on the Tube.

— Arthur Smith

Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I…

— Arthur Smith

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

— Arthur Smith